Spam in recent months has taken an uglier turn. Instead of all those “dearly beloved” Nigerian emails I used to get, which made me sound like the most trustworthy guy on the planet, spam more often these days takes a hectoring tone: my electronic payment has been rejected; a complaint has been filed against my business; the IRS wants to collect back taxes, and so on. It’s enough to make a fellow lose faith in the scammers of the world.
But one that arrived about a dozen times last week had a certain charm. Here’s one version:
The Better Business Bureau has been recorded the above said reclamation from one of your users with reference to their business relations with you. The detailed description of the consumer’s anxiety are available at the link below. Please give attention to this matter and notify us about your opinion as soon as possible.
We graciously ask you to open the APPEAL REPORT to respond on this appeal.
We awaits to your prompt rebound.
Better Business Bureau
The others are all slight variations, with the same basic wording but odd word changes. In one version, the customer’s “anxiety” becomes “disturbance.” In others, it becomes “trouble” or “concern” or “worry.” Instead of being “graciously” asked, in some emails I am asked “politely” or “pleasantly” or “kindly” or “amiably.” It must have Amateur Translators Week.
But I must be off. They awaits to my prompt rebound.