I just returned from Seattle after being Grandpa for six weeks. Seattle is a laid-back place: progressive, friendly, multi-ethnic, tolerant, green, open minded and in love with specialty coffee.
So you can see how I needed to get back in touch with the real America. I read some letters to the editor and watched some Fox News. I wanted to get a pulse on what was going on without being bothered by too many facts. I read about the counter revolution against Obama and all his non-patriotic, foreign-loving, socialist, leftist cohorts. It was just terrible what had been happening, with them trying to solve all these problems with solutions.
I went straight to my good friend Jim. Jim is a good solid conservative American patriot. Why, Jim’s so far right he couldn’t see the political center with a telescope. I knew he would have the straight story.
“Yep,” he said. We’re going to take back America from those *@!!*.
“Are you going to seek bipartisan solutions,” I asked?
“Nope,” he said.
How about some new ideas to solve America’s problems?
Well, you got any ideas at all?
I told him to stop trying to prove he was a Republican, for goodness sake. I knew that already. I said I needed to know about the counter-revolution.
I asked him to tell me what the patriots would do about health care once they defeated Obamacare. He said “Who cares?” The main thing was to make Obama look bad. But they would propose tort reform and selling insurance across state lines. That ought to take care of it. Otherwise, people could do whatever they had to do. It was a free country.
I said what about the terrible deficit that’s come from cutting taxes, followed by two wars we didn’t pay for and stimulus spending to avoid a depression? He said we had to cut taxes some more. That would solve it.
Besides, he said, no one would have supported going into Iraq if they had to actually pay for it. I sure felt better about cutting taxes solving most of our economic problems, especially the deficit.
I asked if the patriots would replace Dodd-Frank with some sort of financial regulation to prevent the awful banking practices that almost brought about the collapse of the world economy, and resulted in so much harm to so many Americans. That was hard, he said, because Obama was for regulation too, and making Obama look bad was the first priority. So Americans might just have to suck it up for a good cause.
Besides, the revolution was all for capitalism. If it caused a depression now and then, that was just the price you had to pay. It would separate the men from the boys.
“But what about things like global warming?” I asked. Well, he had heard from Senator what’s-his-name that it was all a hoax perpetrated by liberal activists trying to subvert the American way of life. And even if wasn’t a hoax, hell, most of the American coast was blue states and Florida was unreliable. So if they got flooded, what’s the big loss?
Well, I can’t tell you how much better I felt after talking to Jim. I was worried that trying to provide a good health care system like other developed countries have, protecting consumers from risky and predatory financial institutions, saving the world environment, and rescuing our economy from eight years of profligate behavior under Bush, leading to a major recession, might be difficult. But now that true American patriots were going to take over, real progress couldn’t be far behind.
David Darby is a retired federal and state official.