The Billings Outpost

Liberals, conservatives are of different species

Conservatives and liberals. Ever wonder why folks from the opposite side of the political spectrum are so abysmally pig headed and ignorant?

Why do Republicans revere the Constitution while liberals adore the Declaration of Independence?

Why does one side favor gun control while the other is the darling of the National Rifle Association?

How can one party defend abortion rights while the other believes abortion is murder and that the person who commits it should be hanged?

It’s because Democrats are from Earth and Republicans are from Mars.

Members of the two parties are different species. They speak different languages and their thought processes are poles apart.

Why are Republicans more apt to reject evolution and global warming than Democrats? There are reasons and the reasons are legitimate.

I have long been astonished by how simple-minded Republicans seem to be while we lefties are so insightful. Recently, I found research on the subject from scientists at the University of Southern California and the University of Virginia.

Both studies cited examples of liberal vs. conservative views. I liked the following pair:

“The national Democratic Party is immoral to the core. Any American who would vote for Democrats is guilty of fostering the worst kind of degeneracy. The leaders of this party are severely out of touch with mainstream, traditional American values. They are crusaders for perversion, for licentiousness, for nihilism and worse.”

— Joseph Farah (2003), World Net Daily

“Republicans don’t believe in the imagination, partly because so few of them have one, but mostly because it gets in the way of their chosen work, which is to destroy the human race and the planet. Human beings, who have imaginations, can see a recipe for disaster in the making; Republicans, whose goal in life is to profit from disaster and who don’t give a hoot about human beings, either can’t or won’t.”

— Michael Feingold (2004), Village Voice.

A solid liberal or deeply rooted conservative would instantly know the answer to all the questions above. We’ll try our best: Liberals put their faith in the Declaration of Independence. The Declaration fits their loosey-goosey notion of freedom. The Constitution is more specific.  Conservatives like that.

Lincoln, the first Republican president, was a liberal. Lincoln considered the Declaration - not the Constitution - to be our founding document and ignored the Constitution when doing so served his purposes.

Liberals are pro-choice because they believe a woman has a right to control what happens to her own body. Liberals believe in individual rights and freedoms. They contend that a fetus is not a human being anymore than an eagle egg is an eagle. Conservatives see only chaos and anarchy in the liberal’s view.

Why are Republicans more apt to reject evolution and global warming than Democrats? Science is as inerrant as scripture to liberals. One and one is two. Water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Humans, apes, bunnies, mice and flu germs all descended from a common ancestor. Scientists said it.

They believe it. ‘Nuff said. Many conservatives view scripture and Genesis the same way. Many others keep their mouths shut out of fear of offending those who do. Both liberal and conservative arguments are only contentions. Accept a contention and you have bought the conclusion. Not much traction in this debate for either side.

A liberal-conservative debate is like a game of Calvin Ball as played by Calvin and Hobbs in the comic strip created by Bill Waterson. The game zigzags between constant rule changes to a final score of 14 to K.

One side shouts “14.” The opposition hears “K” and responds, “R!”

To which the first group mumbles, “Pigheaded idiots.”


Copyright 2012 Wild Raspberry Inc.

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